


Happy Halloween

by Strange_doll_from_Hell



Series: Family [6]
Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: F/M, Family Feels, Fluff, Funny, Halloween
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:27:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27300421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strange_doll_from_Hell/pseuds/Strange_doll_from_Hell
Summary: Just a cute Halloween story. Maybe read without having  read the other stories in the serie.
Relationships: Laszlo Cravensworth/Nadja
Series: Family [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1708681
Kudos: 2





	Happy Halloween

**Author's Note:**

> That's another little story (not like I have three to finished...Oops!).  
> All you need to know to understand this story is that Nadja and Laszlo have a adopted daughters  
> Finally, Halloween is my favourite holiday and I hope the show will have a themed episode of it in season 3.

-Nandor looks!

Juliet held a blood transfusion bag the size of a juice box in her hand.

-The grocery shop is selling blood now? says a surprised Nandor. -Quick, show us where they are! With a little luck, they have virgin blood!

Before Juliet obeyed, Guillermo stopped them:  
-Master, this is not real blood. Look, on the bag, it says cherry.   
-Oh, that's why it had blue, green and yellow too," says Juliet.  
-What a lack of consideration! What if an innocent vampire had bought a bag without knowing it! Fuc...Fudging guys!  
-It's probably for Halloween, master...  
-What's Halloween? Juliet asked.  
-It is a pagan festival where people attempt to appease the spirits with offerings, usually food or sacrifices, Nandor says.  
-Master, I'm sorry to interrupt you but...  
-But what?!  
-Nowadays, it's more of a celebration where people dress up, ask for sweets and scare the others," explained Guillermo.  
-Sweet and scare peoples? asked Juliet suddenly interested.

******

-Mama! Papa!  
-Hey, easy there, said Laszlo as he picked up his overexcited daughter. -Why did a simple trip to the shop put you in such a good mood?  
-I'm going trick-or-treating!  
-What? Laszlo asked confusedly.  
-Guillermo explained to her how people are celebrating Samain now and she wants to participate, said Nandor while Guillermo went carring the shopping bags.  
-Oh, she wants to spend Halloween," Nadja realized.  
-It's a feast for the poor," Laszlo objected. -And people of little virtue.  
-What are people of little virtue? asked Juliet.  
-People who like to show the beauty of romance in all its forms, says Nadja as her husband watches her impress.  
-Sexy goldfish was an interesting discovery, recognized Laszlo.  
-According to Guillermo, it's open to everyone now, says Nandor. -The children go begging for sweets regardless of their social rank to all the decorated houses.You can also scare people!  
-I want to be scary, mama! And get candy please!   
-Why not? It might be fun," says Nadja as she strokes her daughter's hair.  
-Isn't she a bit young for this? Laszlo asked hesitantly.  
-We'll go with her! It will be entertaining for us too! Think how nice it will be not to have to hide for once.  
-Because you're usually so discreet," mocked Colin.  
-I 'm sorry, he followed me," excused Guillermo when he saw Nandor's reproachful look.  
-So, Juliet, you know what you want to dress up as? Ask Colin.  
-Something scary!  
-Okay scary...You could dress up as tax paper.  
-Nan, it's not scary.  
-I believe that people who win the lottery would have a different opinion...  
-Colin Robinson, don't ruin it for everyone! Nandor got angry.  
-Do you want to come? asked Nadja in surprise.  
-No, I want to give sweets to the children of the population. I'm going to decorate the house and …  
-No! There's no way I'm going to let strangers into my house if it's for something other than food! Laszlo got angry.  
-Don't hurt the children, couldn't help but say Guillermo.  
-Of course not! I just want to give them a nice evening filled with treats and terrifying fear. But if a mature virgin is passes by, I won't push him away.  
-Laszlo, come on! If our child goes looking for sweets, it seems natural that Nandor gives some too, says Nadja.  
-I'm going to put Colin Robinson in front of the stairs to make sure no-one goes somewhere private, I promise, said Nandor.  
-But I wanted to welcome people," complains Colin.  
-You can squeak a little on Guillermo.  
-But Master...  
-Silence Guillermo, nobody asked for your opinion! Now go and find me some paper and a quill so we can find ideas for the house.  
-Yes, master, says Guillermo is discouraged.  
-I guess in that case we'll have to start looking for a costume for you," Laszlo says to his daughter.  
-Yeah!

******

-So let's see what we could disguise you as," Nadja began, rummaging through her wardrobe. -Maybe we could make you a goblin costume...   
-Are you sure this is a good idea? Laszlo asked. -People are much more sensitive nowadays, I see at least three people in Indian costumes getting eaten every Halloween. Let's try something less controversial. Perhaps the grimm reaper?  
-People are just going to think I'm the guy in Scream without the mask," Juliet complains.  
-You let her watch this movie? said Guillermo, who was passing by with his arms full of boxes.  
-Hey, I don't mind encouraging my kid to get educated but a stupid burlesque comedy one in a while is not going to rot her brain, Laszlo got angry.  
-That's not the problem...  
-Guillllllermmmo!!!  
-I'm coming master!, say Guillermo deciding it wasn't worth explaining.  
-Hey but come to think of it, you could be a serial killer, says Nadja.  
-Who? Me? says Laszlo surprised.  
\- Not you! Juliet! That's scary a serial killer. What do you think, my little armadillo?  
-I like it. Who can I dress up as?  
-Good question, says Laszlo. -Let me have a look in my album.  
-Album? Ask Nadja.  
-Oh, didn't I show you beford? A few decades ago, they had released this serial killer collection cards. No idea why they stopped.  
-It's a pity, says Nadja. -See if you like someone, my sweetheart.

Juliet turned the pages but seemed hesitant:  
-There are almost only boys.  
-I guess girls don't get caught as often as boys," says Nadja amused.  
-You have to be caught to be known? asked Juliet.  
-Not necessarily, sometimes some are known anyway," says Laszlo as he turns the pages.-Look, for example, at the Axman of the new Orlean, the Zodiac killer or Jack the Ripper. Look, it's him! He is one of the most notorious serial killers!  
-Sure, a man kills 5 prostitutes and he is a criminal genius. Giulia Tofana killed more than 600 men, 3 centuries before him and does she deserve recognition? No! Nadja says disdainfully.  
-My darling, you know that I am always supporting the cause of women but it is not my fault if people have...  
-He looks cool, says Juliet.  
-Who? asked Nadja.  
-Jack, he looks cool with my coat and his hat.  
-It's true that he has a lot of charisma and elegance," says Laszlo with a smirk on his face.  
-It's true that he's recognizable, but he's a boy...started Nadja.  
-So what? says Laszlo. -If she loves Jack the Ripper, she can be Jack! And Jill the Ripper was just one theory among many! Arthur Conan Doyle, the author of Sherlock Holme, believed it to be true. And even if he's a man, I'm sure he'd have no problem with the idea of a young girl disguising herself as him! He might even be flattered!  
-Really? says Nadja rolling her eyes.  
-You are the one who tells her that she can become whatever she wants, Laszlo defended himself. -If she wants to be Jill the Ripper...  
-I want! Scream Juliet.   
-Go for Jill the Ripper, then," Nadja yielded.

******

-Almost finished, says Nadja as she puts make-up on her daughter. -Here, go and show to Gizmo!

Excited, Juliet rushed to the familiar's room.

-Guillermo, Guillermo look!  
-Yes, I ...oh my God!

Juliet was dressed in old Victorian clothing including a cape and top hat. Her make-up was pale, with blackened eyes and a mouth dripping with blood. A cooking apron, a doctor's bag and a knife (fortunately fake) complete the picture. Guilllermo hopes that the blood was also fake.

-Is it spooky? Juliet asked.  
-A lot, said Guillermo not even needing to lie.  
-Yeah!!!! Come on, let's show off your costume too!

Juliet lured him to the vampires. They were also disguised in their own way: Nadja and Laszlo had put on what Guillermo supposed to be vintage clothes for them and did not hide their bestial forms. Nandor had put one of his most menacing war armours and also showed his bestial form.

-Look, Guillermo is in costume too!  
-Are you ...disguised in us? Nadja asked with an expression of disgust.  
-Er...Yes, I disguised myself as a vampire to practice for later...  
-Nandor, tell your familiar to change! That's cultural appropriation!" Laszlo got angry.  
-No, it didn't," Guillermo tried to defend himself. -And Juliet looks a bit like a vampire with her...  
-It's not the same thing, my daughter is the child of two vampires. It's only a matter of time before we kill her to make her a child of the night! Retorqua Laszlo.

Juliet nodded in approval with her future death, completely at ease with the concept.

-It's too late for him to change, says Nandor. -I need him to help me with the rest of the decorations.  
-What do you think of my costume? Colin asked, startled everyone.

Colin seemed to be dressed the same as usual but had stuck a label with the word Life on it and carried a basket full of lemons.

-Are you a fruit picker? Nadja asked confusedly.  
-No. I am Life and I give lemons," says Colin, pointing to his label before reaching out his basket to Nadja.  
-Oh, It's a play on words," Nandor said.  
-In the end, I prefer the racist costume of Gizmo," says Nadja.  
-Laszlo dressed up as a Mexican once!  
-Hush, Guillermo. It's not the most important thing that your costume is problematic and I don't think Laszlo still have the costume, says Nandor.   
-Well said, let's leave before the best is gone, says Nadja.

******

-Hey Lasz, taking your kid out for Halloween?

Laszlo turned an annoying glance at his neighbor who was already heavily intoxicated.

-Why else do you think we're dressed up, you idiot?  
-What did you say just now...  
-I politely answered your question and said a joke that amused you greatly," said Laszlo using his hypnotism.  
-Haha, that's fucking nasty!  
-I know," smiles Laszlo.  
-Chamaine's sister brought her kids to pick up candy for them in the neighborhood, Shaun continued.  
-Why don't they do it in their neighbourhoods? asked Laszlo.  
-Apartments are not great for Halloween. I'm just saying that if you want your wife to find other moms to take the kids trick or treat.  
-Is this a subtle way to get rid of your sister-in-law and invite me to drink?  
-Maybe, recognized Shane shamelessly.  
-I appreciate the offer but this is the first Halloween of my Bantling so I will endure the festivities.  
-We could still get rid of your sister-in-law," said Nadja as she joined them.  
-For real? Shane asked enthusiastically  
-Why my love? Laszlo asked in disappointment.  
-Our daughter seems to like some of the children in the group.  
-The things we do for love," Laszlo said.

*****

-Guillermo, why did people stop coming?

Guillermo was careful with his words, looking for the most delicate way to explain the situation to his master.

-At first I thought it was Colin Robinson but he seems to be as annoyed as I am by the lack of people.  
-Master, maybe your decorations are a little too scary?  
-Don't be ridiculous Guillermo! Halloween is supposed to be scary! The children who came liked it so much that they didn't even want to take any sweets!

Because they ran away screaming, had to bite their lips not to answer Guillermo.

-Don't you think that you as a monster half-man half-dog screaming with flames was a bit much? asked Colin.  
-For this generation? It's hardly enough! Did you see what Juliet is looking at? This train is terrifying!  
-Thomas the train engine? Really? Ask Colin.  
-It is a monstrous creature whose species wears the faces of its victims and functions with nightmare fuel! Nandor fought back.  
-They are a little uncanny valley, recognized Guillermo. -But master, it is possible that your decorations are a little too intense for the younger ones. Juliet is...more resilient than most children her age. But I have a solution if you want.  
-Oh really? And what's your amazing idea? If it sucks, I'll give you another year to be a familiar!  
-I'm just going to advertise on the internet for the right age group, I promise you'll have lots of people who love your decorations.  
-It's better for you!

*******

Shane's sister-in-law was indeed terrible. Her kids were of an acceptable level of annoyance by Laszlo's standards (he wasn't going to expect them to behave like angels when they had access to sugar and the ability to do stupid things with little or no consequence). The rest was pleasing to the eye and as long as they were pleasant company to Nadja and their kids to Juliet, he could tolerate. The prettiest according to Laszlo's taste, seemed to succeed best with her son.A brunette calls Ginger if it's not ironic!

-I don't know how you did it earlier, but bravo," Ginger said to Nadja.  
-Oh, it was nothing," assured Nadja.  
-Nothing? This as...donkey wanted the kids to share a box of raisins. You went to see him, you told him I don't know what without even raising your voice and hop, the kids have a giant chocolate bar each. Please, teach me your magic, I need it for my plumber!  
-I'm afraid it's hard to learn quickly but I'd be happy to help," smiles Nadja. -Especially since my daughter and you're son seem to get along well.  
-Max is just happy to find someone who speaks his language! Most people find him weird. But with me working in the morgue and my boyfriend police officer, he's a little too comfortable with gory stuff for some people. Honestly, I think Karen just asked us to come because she thinks it's nice to have a policeman in her relationship.  
-It can indeed be practical, Laszlo admitted with a smirk on his face looking to his wife.  
-He was just so happy to see another kid in a scary costume! A little bit the same for me even though I clearly don't have as much budget as you do, I just spilled fake blood on an old work uniform.  
-Oh, apart from the make-up, we just put on some old-fashioned clothes of our own," explained Nadja.   
-Ah, you're like into goth and vintage stuff? It's cool! Is it more common in Europe?  
-Uh...Yes, but we have peers in America," Laszlo assured .  
-Speaking of which, says Nadja as she notices something, or rather someone. -If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and greet some friends.

Juliet had stopped to talk to a couple of kids with Max and one of Karen's kids. The two children were wearing a Princess Tiana costume and an Ironman costume. Both had bloody stains on their outfits.

-Mister the Cruel and Miss the Brutal, politely greeted Juliet.  
-Why do you call them that? asked the child of Karen.  
-For nothing and you're not really interested anyway," says Danto hypnotising the child. -Why don't you go back to your mother?

The child obeys without saying anything. Max looked at the scene in shock wondered how he had done it.

-Calling us Radinka and Danto is more than enough, continued his sister. -Are you having fun?  
-Yes, this is my first time trick-or-treating!  
-Wonderful, enjoy it, continued in an unemotional tone Radinka.  
-Your outfits are cool," says Max. -Are you Ironman and Tiana zombies?

As one man, the two vampires turned to the woman who accompanied them.

-Yes, sure, she confirmed even if she was uncomfortable.  
-Max is Hebert West and I am Jill the Ripper.  
-These are greast costumes, says Dantos. -Did you have a good harvest?  
-Not bad but there's still plenty of room in my bag," says Juliet. -You?

Danto and Radinka again in unison showed the contents of their bags.

-You've got a lot of bag of chips! Says Max impresses.  
-Take some if you want, says Radinka.  
-You want to trade?  
-No, I give them to you without a string attached.  
-In fact, take what you want," says Danto. -We will not eat anything that is in our bags.  
-Why, are you allergic? asked Max.  
-They can't eat candy," says Juliet.  
-They're diabetics," the woman says quickly.  
-Oh that's sad.  
-Don't worry. We've already had our special treats, Radinka says with an amused expression as she looks at her brother.  
-Yes, we had a lot of fun even without treats," says Danto holding back a smile full of teeth.  
-You should say thank you," says Nadja, popping up behind Juliet and Max.  
-Thank you," said the two children in chorus.

Juliet and Max returned to their group with their much heavier bags. Max couldn't help but find it odd that Juliet's mom talks to both Danto and Radinska but ignores their mother like that. She ended up coming back too after saying goodbye to the childrens.

-Papa! Look what I got from Danto and Radinka.   
-I hope you said thank you," says Laszlo.  
-Of course, I'm a lady!" said Juliet.  
-She was more than polite, don't worry," assured Nadja.  
-Do you know the parents of these children? asked Ginger. -They want to join us?  
-More the children themselves but yes. I think they've finished their rounds, but I'll ask for a next time," says Nadja.  
-Ok but...where is your husband?  
-He saw someone he wanted to talk to.

******

Nandor was happy! His decorations worked! It seems that Guillermo may have been right (just a little bit) and that his decorations were a little too scary for the younger ones. Guillermo had sent a message with his computer and now more mature people were ringing the doorbell. They appreciate Nandor's work at its true value. And Colin Robinson did no harm for once, he just sat and ate the food offered looking confused.

-I don't get it, said the energy vampire.

Guillermo was proud of him. Presented their house as an extreme haunted attraction and at the surprisingly affordable price it offered, had attracted dozens of people. Someone was going to be able to buy fresh vegetables this month!

*****

The man had noticed the little boy disguised as a dog who seemed lost. Perfect, he couldn't have been more than 8 years old. It had enough people not to notice him and anyway even if he was struggling, people would assume he was just a kid having a tantrum because he didn't want to go home. It would be easy to take him to the car. He then went into action, grabbing the child by the wrist. How he had guessed, the child tried to leave and shout but everyone ignored him. The child was crying and trying to get out of his grip but he wasn't going to let him. 

They had almost reached the car when something jumped on him. The child, finally free despite being too scared to try to run away, remains on the ground crying, trying to ignore the screams and grunts.

Laszlo finished his meal, wiped his mouth and approached the child:  
-Hey boy, it's all right. It was just a nightmare.  
-Nightmare? asked the child with a blurred look.  
-Yes, you can forget it now. And we can find your mum or dad later, shall we?  
-Ok.  
-That a good lad, said Laszlo, taking his hand.

******

-You're back!" said Nadja as she saw her husband come back before noticing the child he was holding in his hand.  
-His name is...Laszlo said beford realizing that he had forgotten to ask.  
-Eric, said the boy.  
-Eric, that's what I was going to say! It seems that the poor fellow has lost his way. I don't know if any of you can returned him to his parents who must be worried sick. I think it's better if he comes back with a woman.  
-I'll take care of him, I've got a service badge so I might as well use it," says Ginger.  
-Juliet, why don't you give Eric a little something before you leave? says Nadja.

Juliet understood and put some sweets in Eric's bag. Max followed her example.

-I probably won't be coming back. Sorry to leave you with the others but Nadja, you call me whenever you want for a play-date! Good night.

After Ginger disappeared and being sure that the others were out of earshot, Nadja asked:  
-Parental tax?  
-Yes, not great, but it was for a good cause.  
-What is the parental tax?  
-Do you know how living adults pay for things that help children? Like schools?  
-Yes.  
-Since we are dead, your mother and I pay differently. Specifically, by occasionally eating a child predator. In this way we help the children and.make sure they can grow up fine...

And some of them may become delicious virgins, Laszlo refrains from saying.

-Your bag is pretty full and I think people are starting to turn off the lights. It will be time to go home, Nadja says.  
-But I didn't trick anyone," says Juliet.  
-It's a shame to miss it," says Laszlo looking at his wife.  
-All right," sighed Nadja. -But just one and then we'll be straight home!

*****

The woman heard her ringing and the hateful phrase: Trick or treat!

Damn, it had no light and no decoration! She took the spray filled with water to squirt the dirty little bastard! Leaving fucking semen stains begging for candy should be banned!

When she opened the door, she saw a small silhouette in old period clothing. But above all she notices what was behind the silhouette: a horrible monster amalgam of bat and woman with red eyes, sharp fangs and claws. 

Juliet did her best to imitate the growling of her parents and Nandor, showing teeth and having an attack position.

-AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

The woman dropped her bottle and ran screaming back into her house. Juliet laughs proudly as Nadja retreats back to her human form before her daughter notices her.

-Have you seen mama? She was really scared!  
-Bravo sweetheart! Come on, let's go home now!

-So Nandor, how did it go with the candy distribution? Ask Laszlo.  
-A bit difficult at the beginning, I think I'm better with more mature kids like teenagers for the atmosphere but once I found the right audience, it was really fun for everyone. Some people have asked me if I'm going to do it again next year! says Nandor enthusiastically.  
-Glad to hear it, says Nadja. -Maybe we can help with the decorations if it's so much entertainment.  
-And you, how was the candy harvest?  
-Juliet has at least until next year," laughs Laszlo. -By the way, you can borrow Gizmo to check them out. We would do it ourselves but I confess that neither I nor my sweet lady wife are sure how to identify the good from the bad.  
-Of course! He is cleaning now but I will ask him when he was finished.  
-Thank.

Later, Juliet picked up her candies and filled two small bowls which she took to her destination. Her first stop was at Guillermo's room.

-Guillermo!

-Yes? ask surprised Guillermo.  
-It's for you," says Juliet, giving the familiar a plastic bag. -Because you don't eat blood like me yet, I decided to give you sweets.  
-Oh Juliet, thank you very much.... says Guillermo before opening the bag to see the contents.

The taffy wrapped in orange and black plastic, poor quality gum, a good packet of black licorice flavor candies, boxes of raisins, in fact quite a lot of grape flavor candies, corn candy, necco waffers, peanuts circus, ect..

Guillermo took a deep breath and said:  
-Thank you, Juliet. It was a nice gesture.  
-Oh, it's nothing. I wanted to throw them away but Mama and Papa said you might want them.  
-I see. What's the other bag?  
-It's for Colin Robinson, he asked to give him this brand of candy if I could find it. He said he would buy me other things in exchange.   
-Why does he want his candy? Guillermo suddenly asked worriedly.  
-To play with his friends, it's candy with different flavors but they are all white. Cherry, strawberry, grape, lime, orange, lemon and rotten zombie.  
-Rotten zombie?  
-Yes, it's one per pack and it tastes really bad. They say it's hard to get the taste out and you stink from the mouth afterwards. Colin says a packet is too easy, it's more fun if it is all mix in a big bowl to play in the office.  
-I see. I'm sure Colin Robinson will have a lot of fun.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Halloween everyone, I hope you all have fun despite our situation.


End file.
